Turn Away
by Guestpersonanonymous
Summary: I don't want to ever be a warrior. Everyone says I'm scared, but I know what I saw. All bravery does is get you killed.
1. Chapter 1

**Guestperson here with another story! I know, I know, I'm incompetent enough as it is with updating, but I wanted to make another one touching on the out-of-the-box thinking I wanted to accomplish here, anyway. So, sit back and enjoy the horrific prologue. **

**Part One - Lost**

_**P**erhaps if she had waited a moment longer, lingered outside the camp, turned back before they could wander any further, things would have been different. _

_The forest seemed so frightening to the young she-cat, a medley of confusing sights and sounds. She paused mid-step, ears angled sharply forward in her anxiety. A mouse fled from the brush, having spied the cat in its midst. However, the she-cat only shrieked in terror, back-peddling away from the unknown menace. _

_There was a light nudge on her shoulder, a white tail tip that ducked out of view. Spinning round, the she-cat came face to face with an almost perfect copy of herself; a tom of black and white. Only their eyes betrayed their true identities, some claimed. The tom's fierce yellow gaze sought out the she-cat's green orbs, but she ducked her head briefly, catching a glimpse of her white paws. _

_"I-I'm not sure this is safe," the black and white she-cat whispered. Her voice was hesitant, and unsure, and while her eyes looked longingly back to the familiarity of camp, the only place she'd ever known in her short life, her feet stayed firmly on the ground._

_"Oh, you worry too much," the tom said dismissively, well used to the she-cat's skittish behavior. He circled her so their eyes met, his head held high and imposing. "Besides, didn't you want to prove you were brave?" He coaxed._

_The she-cat's eyes narrowed at his words, and she broke his gaze once more, staring at the ground as she scraped it with her paw. She frowned deeply, as if contemplating the truth of the tom's words. "I . . . guess so."_

_The tom smirked, truimphant. He flicked the she-cat's shoulder playfully, and sprang forward. "Come on, I want to see the glen where the apprentices train!" He exclaimed exuberantly. The change in the she-cat's was obvious as he moved away, for the tom's excitement was infectious. She grinned widely, eyes bright. With a quick nod, she followed the black and white tom eagerly. Together, they ran forward through the new-leaf forest, squeaking excitedly with every spring of their paws._

_Suddenly, the tom paused, ears perked and tail high. The she-cat immediately stiffened, and fell into a crouch, her eyes wide with fur. "What is it?" She mewed querulously. The tom silenced her with a flick of his tail, and sank backwards. The she-cat relaxed slightly, and peered over the tom's shoulder to see the small form of a squirrel, ignorant of the cats' presence only tail-lengths away. It scraped at the ground, apparently looking for something. _

_"Watch this!" The tom whispered excitedly, sinking forward into what may have been a hunter's crouch. The she-cat watched attentively as the tom clumsily crept forward, and then suddenly, he let an ear-splitting screech, and leapt forward. For a few moments, everything was a blur as the tom seemed to try to keep a hold on something, moving too fast for the she-cat to discern easily. Finally, an orange-brown blur shot out of from underneath the tom — right into the she-cat's waiting claws. She stared at in bewilderment for a moment, and then the squirrel was gone, nothing more than a memory. _

_"So close, Brackenkit!" The tom meowed, springing to his paws. His fur was ruffled and covered in dirt, but the tom looked like he could care less. Brackenkit sighed in disappointment, her former excitement gone as disappointment replaced it. The tom gave her a comforting lick on the shoulder, and bound away. "We got to go to the glen now, remember?"_

_The tom was looking at her as he ran, so it was impossible for him to see the ginger and white mass that flashed through the underbrush. However, Brackenkit could see it all too well, and look on in horror and shock as the creature lunged from the undergrowth, maw open in a silent cry of impending doom. Paws reached forward as the tom became like his escaped prey, only this time, he wasn't going to escape._

_"Badgerkit!" Brackenkit shrieked, finally snapping out of her trance. _

_The tom spun around, his back exposed to teeth that were tail-lengths away from sinking into his flesh. "What, Brackenkit?" Normally, he would not take his sister's fears seriously, but he understood the urgency in Brackenkit's tone now._

_And then the fox sank its jaws into Badgerkit's throat. _

**-cackles evilly- Mwahaha, I have given you all a ****cliffy! Now you will all writhe in agony as I take a week to write the next chapter! Guestperson bids you all a good day. :DDDDD**


	2. Chapter 2

**AU: . . . And a week becomes several, as in, a month. Sorry guys. ): I would prattle on about finals, and being school/sports oriented, but I suppose you'd just want to read the chapter instead, hmm?**

**Chapter One**

_I can still see how the light faded from his eyes, the way his smile was suddenly ripped away, replaced by a horrific scream that was all too short as the fox towered over me, shaking him like a wet bundle of leaves, limp and unresisting. I didn't scream as blood covered his black and white fur, and his throat was torn thoroughly by crimson fangs. I think I tried to, there was sort of a gurgling sound in my throat as I opened my mouth in an attempt to say . . . something. _

_The fox advanced, and I stood there terrified and in shock as he let Badgerkit's body fall, landing with a sickening squelch in the grass, his blood turning his fur a disgusting tint of pink. Sticky and matted, he barely resembled the big, strong brother I had known. He looked like some of the fresh-kill did when they were left and forgotten in the bottom of the pile, and were uncovered days later, wriggling with maggots and skinless. I couldn't stand to see someone who had been living, breathing, running, laughing like that. _

_Somehow, I survived, because that's when Hickorytail and his dawn patrol showed up. They took one look at Badgerkit's crumpled form, and the fox, and were suddenly all over the red demon. It was over in a matter of seconds, the warriors' attacks fueled by rage, and the fox turned tail and fled. _

_I was still in shock for the next couple of moons. All I remember was blurred vision and sticky cheeks, pitying faces, and grieving Greeneyes, and Birdclaw. They'd always loved Badgerkit more than me, I think, and they couldn't bear to look at me since that day. That day. It would be forever etched in my mind, for it was more than just the death of my brother. It was the death of me, the death of hope, and the death of my willingness to play this stupid little game anymore. Life was sickening and twisting, and I would not stand to be a pawn in the petty fights of warrior cats as they died to defend . . . what exactly. A stupid piece of land?_

_I know what I saw that day, and now I know this too; all being a warrior does is get you killed. —Bracken_

* * *

_Brackenpaw stared at her paws, and yet, _she did not really see them. All she could ever see, and all she'd ever be able to see, was her brother's mangled body. Distantly, she could hear Leafpaw chattering away as the small band of cats walked through the forest. Golden, brown, and red, swept Brackenpaw by as she continued to watch the ground falling away beneath her, and beyond. She sighed, quietly, under her breath, lamenting the repetitive nature of the life of a warrior. She felt old, like she'd walked this path hundreds of times, did these patrols millions of times, until the path and patrol and the scents and sights were all blended seamlessly into one endless continuing line, until the day Brackenpaw would finally die.

Up ahead, Leafpaw and Mousepaw were engaged in conversation, excited about the upcoming Gathering that was to be held that night. The two were still fresh from the nursery and had yet to do most of the things apprentices did, unlike Brackenpaw, who'd been an apprentice for three moons. And yet, it felt like she'd been one for three seasons. She tried to listen to the two younger cats, tried to be similarly interested, but there was nothing inside her besides the will to take another step, and another. At least she had that.

" . . .Oh, do you think there will be any handsome toms there?" Mousepaw said, curling her tail and ducking her head sheepishly. Her sister, Leafpaw, grinned.

"Maybe, but you know, it's against the code to be in love with a tom from another clan," Leafpaw said, smiling deviously like she could care less what the code thought.

"It would be _so _romantic and forbidden," Mousepaw said with a dreamy sigh, blinking rapidly.

From her position in the back, Brackenpaw huffed, flicking her tail in annoyance. It sickened her to think that, not too long ago, she was like these cats, dreamy and desperate and hopeful. _Hope_. Brackenpaw scorned the very thought of it.

"Oh, do you think Stormstar will make an announcement about the moved borders?" Leafpaw asked curiously, turning to regard her littermate with wide, excited eyes.

"Of course she will, silly!" Mousepaw retorted, cuffing the other white she-cat with a dark gray paw. Leafpaw growled and narrowed her eyes playfully, and crouched suddenly, stopping in her tracks. Brackenpaw stopped, her way blocked by the white apprentice, and she watched quietly as the two apprentices regarded each other with a playful intensity. Suddenly, a tortoiseshell tail cuffed Mousepaw in the jaw.

"Stop getting distracted, you three!" It was Firesky, Leafpaw's mentor. Up ahead, Graywing and Flutterheart, Brackenpaw's and Mousepaw's mentors respectively, turned to watch. Brackenpaw flicked a tail and looked at her paws, more than a little irritated; she wasn't the one getting distracted. She almost sighed when Firesky took her response for something else, like everyone in the clan did. "I'm so sorry, Brackenpaw, I didn't mean to . . ."

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Brackenpaw said, looking up. From the mouth of any other cat, the statement would have been expressive of feelings of shame or irritation. But that was just the thing; Brackenpaw's voice was flat, as dead as she was on the inside. Leafpaw and Mousepaw looked at her with wide, pitying eyes, and distantly, Brackenpaw could hear Flutterheart say to Graywing, "That poor little kit."

_There's nothing to be sorry for! _The thought practically tore through Brackenpaw's mind as she watched these cats watching her. They would never understand, Brackenpaw thought bitterly. True, some of the warriors had lost siblings and parents and mates, but never at such a young age, when they were the only thing that kept you alive . . .

They would never understand, because Brackenpaw didn't care enough to make them understand. All they cared about was fighting, and never giving up, like the mouse-brained lot they were. They might as well have been on the other side of Silverpelt, for Brackenpaw was alone in her dark world. The light had died, and she was lost.

"Er, we're really sorry," Mousepaw said, breaking into Brackenpaw's solemn thoughts. The black and white she-cat watched as the younger grey she-cat looked up at Firesky, her eyes shining with shame.

"It's alright," Firesky said to her, finally taking her gaze off of Brackenpaw, and turning to look at the young apprentice. "Come on, we still need to go scent the SilverClan border." And just like that, they forgot, Brackenpaw thought wryly as the small patrol leapt back into action, padding through the sun-lit autumn forest.

The rest of the patrol was rather uneventful, at least in Brackenpaw's mind. At the StoneClan border, they saw signs of advancement once more, and the other cats were practically spitting with rage as they corrected it. They headed back to the GoldenClan camp with pelts bristling and waves of rage coming off of them . . . all except for Brackenpaw, of course.

When they arrived, in the glen that was their camp, Firesky immediately ducked into the hollow beneath the roots of the huge, old tree at the forefront of the camp; the leader's den. A few moments later the silver tabby form of Stormstar could be seen as she followed Firesky out of the den. Brackenpaw looked up at the sky, noting that the sky was ominously dark and cloudy. StarClan must be gathering its darkness for something at the Gathering, Brackenpaw noted. She swallowed hard, almost choking on the magpie she held in her mouth.

There was going to be fighting, Brackenpaw was sure of it. The very suggestion of blood and death caused her stomach to twist into painful, fear-tainted knots. Suddenly, she wasn't very hungry anymore, and set the magpie down. She would just end up tossing it all back out every time she thought of those empty, broken eyes . . .

"All cats of GoldenClan gather around the Great Tree for a clan meeting!" Brackenpaw turned her head to see Stormstar's blazing blue eyes that she was so famous for. No cat could stand to be under the scrutiny of the GoldenClan leader's wrathful gaze for long. Immediately, all the cats currently in the camp began to appear, streaming from dens and sunning areas to gather around their respected commander, ears angled towards the silver tabby.

Brackenpaw dipped her head to the ground and politely joined the others, already knowing what Stormstar was going to say, or rather, what she was so irked about. Stormstar would certainly not tolerate StoneClan taking up _her _precious land. Of course, given a couple seasons or so, StoneClan would just take away from her again. The squabbles between the clans were practically timeless.

"Cats of GoldenClan!" Stormstar began, her voice firm and loud. "We will stand the injustice that is StoneClan no longer!" Murmurs of approval and agreement rippled through the ranks before Stormstar raised her tail for silence. "Tonight, at the Gathering, we will make our anger known, and attack StoneClan for their wrong-doings!"

Now this statement left Brackenpaw in shock, as it did everyone else, and cries of rage and concurrent clashed as cats agreed and disagreed with Stormstar's plan. A cold, biting wind ruffled the fur of the GoldenClan cats, and, as one, all turned their heads skyward. The dark clouds Brackenpaw had seen gathering together moments before were now unleashing their fury on the clans below, sending icy rain and stabbing winds down to cut mercilessly through the cats.

"It is a sign!" Stormstar yowled, her eyes wide and hungry. Brackenpaw took an unconscious step back; Stormstar looked all too similar to the fox that had taken Badgerkit's light from his eyes. "It is a sign! StarClan says that the storm will sweep away all in its path! Remember this day, GoldenClan, for this is the day we stand up and say no more to the scum of StoneClan!"

A synchronized cry came from the ranks, drowning out the howl of the wind. Stormstar looked pleased, a smug and victorious grin plastered on her face. She raised her tail high, tall and proud. "Tonight, the only warriors staying in the hollow will be Juniperleap, Shinefeather, Dustpaw, and Gustwillow! The rest, follow me!"

Brackenpaw was almost crushed in the resulting stampede for the exit to camp; all the warriors and apprentices being enthralled and caught up with Stormstar's lust for blood and revenge. It was almost a chant inside terrified Brackenpaw's head as she was forced along with the others, brambles, thorns, twigs and protruding roots catching and tearing at her as the group raced through the undergrowth.

All at once, the war party slowed, Stormstar having given a signal to do so. Ears were perked forward, eyes were widened, and Brackenpaw could even see saliva dripping from open maws as the warriors and apprentices of GoldenClan crouched, ready for battle. She was surrounded by monsters.

"Our first Gathering, and we're going to crash it!" An excited voice broke into Brackenpaw's terrified mind, and she looked fearfully down at tiny Leafpaw and Mousepaw, who were shivering with anticipation. _They are just as hungry as the rest of them, _Brackenpaw thought with ever increasing horror. Her eyes flicked fearfully at the cats pressing around her, only, she didn't see her clan mates and fellow partners in hunting and patrolling. She saw the silhouettes of predators, fangs long and aching to be dipped in red. They could probably smell the fear rolling off of Brackenpaw, and it was only a matter of time before they turned on her and pounced.

"I'm so excited," Mousepaw whispered to her sister. Brackenpaw looked at them with an almost maniacal expression, one that the two were blissfully unaware of as they continued to engage in excited conversation. Brackenpaw clung to every word, desperate for the normalcy of their tone, like this was an everyday thing, not Brackenpaw's first big battle . . .

"I just can't wait to sink my claws into some stupid StoneClan apprentice!" Leafpaw added exuberantly, flexing said claws as if she were imagining them stained with scarlet, digging mercilessly into an invisible foe. Brackenpaw was so very glad she had not eaten that magpie.

Suddenly, Stormstar turned towards her assembled warriors, voice hushed. "We will proceed cautiously. StoneClan, SilverClan, and EarthClan are all assembled, and are about to begin the Gathering without us. Hickorytail, you'll take Aspenfoot, Nightclaw, Greeneyes, Largeblaze, and Volepaw directly downwind of the clearing, where StoneClan will be gathered. Frostjaw, you'll take Graywing, Firesky, Rocktail, Flutterheart, Leafpaw, Mousepaw, and Brackenpaw to the side of the wind, at StoneClan's left. Finally, I'm taking Riverpebble, Birdclaw, Tawnynose, and Whitefur to the right."

Brackenpaw looked up at the silvery leader, knowing why Stormstar went to the right. That was closest to where the leaders assembled to tell news, and Stormstar doubtless wanted to have a "glorious" confrontation of some kind with Windstar, leader of StoneClan. However, Brackenpaw wasn't as willing to concern herself with that as much as the prospect of going into battle alongside Leafpaw and Mousepaw. She couldn't stand to watch the apprentices become the monsters everyone else was.

"We move . . . now!" Stormstar hissed, and the assigned cats moved downward towards the Gathering clearing to their respective positions, and settled in the undergrowth, waiting for the signal to charge. Brackenpaw felt her chest begin to heave erratically, and saw dark spots in her vision. Below, beneath the rise of the hill GoldenClan rested on, three clans were gathered together as Redstar, leader of SilverClan, congratulated two of his newest warriors. Cheers broke the night air, and Brackenpaw shivered, and the blinked, realizing the implications of the breeze that now ruffled her fur and the angle at which the rain of the storm hit her. The wind had shifted.

She could hear Rocktail's cursing even as Stormstar leapt forward from her position far away. She raised her mouth to give the command to attack, even as the cats in the hollow raised open maws to sniff the air, even as Redstar's eyes widened in horror and he flicked his heads to the shadowy forms of cats crouched in the forest. "Stormstar, you filthy fox-hea—"

"GoldenClan, attack!" Cats streamed from the forest, bearing down mercilessly on those gathered below, cries of fear and lust tearing the night apart. Brackenpaw was brutally knocked aside as Leafpaw and Mousepaw rushed past her, yowling their battle cries. Brackenpaw did not follow, her limbs locked with terror as she watched cats tear into each other, like foxes did little kits . . .

_Oh, please, NO!_ Brackenpaw suddenly regained control of her limbs, but stumbled awkwardly back into the trees, desperate to get away, away, as the sky began to become darker and darker. StarClan was angry with Stormstar and GoldenClan, but their wrath could not stop the blood-thirsty cats that were Brackenpaw's own clan mates.

Suddenly, unsheathed claws raked across Brackenpaw's face, and she fell, shocked. A huge, muscular grey and white tom stood over her, eyes as hungry as those of foxes and badgers and Stormstar. The small black and white apprentice cowered, curling into a fetal position as the tom held her by the throat. Her vision became blurry, and Brackenpaw tried to make a sound, but her windpipe was crushed. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tom to done away with her already, and deal the final blow.

_I'm coming, Badgerkit, I'm coming._

**Eh, sorry to leave you with a cliffie, but the chapter would have been too long if I kept going. Don't worry, school's almost done, so you'll get the next update much faster. Sorry again, and I hope you are enjoying the story!**


End file.
